Why is it so Hard to Find a Good Man?

July 5, 2021
By Brian D. Ridgway

Single ladies who struggle to find a man often describe similar experiences. Some of them realize that they’re constantly meeting the same type of men and they don’t know why.

Single ladies who struggle to find a man often describe similar experiences.

Some of them realize that they’re constantly meeting the same type of men and they don’t know why.

Single women

Single women often find it hard to find a good man. But there’s a way to turn this situation around.

Some of them meet great guys that later turn into cold and distant jerks.

And some of them just can’t find the guy they’d truly fall in love with.

After many failed attempts, they ask themselves . . . 

Why is it So Hard to Find a Good Man?

Well, I’ve worked with thousands of women who found that “good guys” are harder to find than they expected . . . And I was able to help them. 

In fact, some of them experienced miracles like manifesting their dream guys in less than two weeks - after years of living in broken relationships.

So in this article, I’ll show you why it may be hard for you to find a good man . . . And what you can do to turn this situation around - even in just a few days. 

Come closer, I’ll tell you a story. A story that has the power to change your intimate relationships forever.

Well, I’ve worked with thousands of women who found that “good guys” are harder to find than they expected . . .

And I was able to help them. 

In fact, some of them experienced miracles like manifesting their dream guys in less than two weeks - after years of living in broken relationships.

So in this article, I’ll show you why it may be hard for you to find a good man . . . And what you can do to turn this situation around - even in just a few days. 

Come closer, I’ll tell you a story. A story that has the power to change your intimate relationships forever.

The Little Boy Who Craves Love

Once upon a time, a little boy fell down and hurt his knees. The pain was unbearable, so he burst into tears and ran to his mother, to find the love and relief he craved.

But he didn’t get it.

His mother waved her finger, saying, “See, I told you this was going to happen but you never listen. Come on, stop crying. You’re a big boy.”

Once upon a time, a little boy fell down and hurt his knees.

The pain was unbearable, so he burst into tears and ran to his mother, to find the love and relief he craved.

But he didn’t get it.

His mother waved her finger, saying, “See, I told you this was going to happen but you never listen.

Come on, stop crying. You’re a big boy.”

 lack of love

Many men experienced lack of love from their mothers.

A few years later, the same boy became the highest-scoring player on his school’s basketball team. But all he heard from his mother was that his grades were low and that being the best player on the field wouldn’t put bread on his table.

Again - his need for love and acceptance wasn’t fulfilled. Instead, his resistance to sharing and expressing his feelings grew even greater. This boy experienced plenty of smaller and bigger events like that. 

A few years later, the same boy became the highest-scoring player on his school’s basketball team.

But all he heard from his mother was that his grades were low and that being the best player on the field wouldn’t put bread on his table.

Again - his need for love and acceptance wasn’t fulfilled.

Instead, his resistance to sharing and expressing his feelings grew even greater.

This boy experienced plenty of smaller and bigger events like that. 

Then, He Grew Up and Met “Her”

He liked her. And she liked him.

At first, he seemed like the perfect man for a long term relationship. He was charming, romantic, smart and funny. She could tell he really cared about her.

He listened to her with 100% attention. When he kissed her, the butterflies in her belly turned into waves of excitement, joy and happiness.

The bliss continued for months and then . . . you know what happened.

Then there was another man . . . and another . . . and another. All of them behaved in almost the same way.

It is almost too familiar. But WHY?

Is it true that there are only a few good men in the entire world and the rest of them are like teenagers?

Actually, neither of these statements are true.

If it seems like there are no good men left anymore - the only reason for it is that deep down . . .

Most of these men are terrified little boys who never got the unconditional love from their mothers that they craved so badly.

He liked her. And she liked him.

At first, he seemed like the perfect man for a long term relationship.

He was charming, romantic, smart and funny. She could tell he really cared about her.

He listened to her with 100% attention.

When he kissed her, the butterflies in her belly turned into waves of excitement, joy and happiness.

The bliss continued for months and then . . . you know what happened.

Then there was another man . . . and another . . . and another. All of them behaved in almost the same way.

It is almost too familiar. But WHY?

Is it true that there are only a few good men in the entire world and the rest of them are like teenagers?

Actually, neither of these statements are true.

If it seems like there are no good men left anymore - the only reason for it is that deep down . . .

Most of these men are terrified little boys who never got the unconditional love from their mothers that they craved so badly.

Most Men Are Deeply Hurt

The lack of love from their mothers created a huge gap in their hearts. These men NEED to fill this gap with the love they never experienced in their lives . . . But they never admit it — because the majority of them don’t even know that’s the case.

No one taught them how important love is. No one taught them that they’re allowed to express and ask for love. No one taught them that it’s OK to be vulnerable and show their feelings.

No.

Instead, all they’ve experienced is a huge lack of love . . . huge disappointment and perceived “rejection”.

They developed low self-esteem and a whole host of other unwanted feelings. Then, they grew up with heavy emotional baggage that they couldn’t deal with.

The lack of love from their mothers created a huge gap in their hearts. These men NEED to fill this gap with the love they never experienced in their lives . . .

But they never admit it - because the majority of them don’t even know that’s the case.

No one taught them how important love is. No one taught them that they’re allowed to express and ask for love.

No one taught them that it’s OK to be vulnerable and show their feelings.

No.

Instead, all they’ve experienced is a huge lack of love . . . huge disappointment and perceived “rejection”.

They developed low self-esteem and a whole host of other unwanted feelings.

Then, they grew up with heavy emotional baggage that they couldn’t deal with.

terrified little boy

Most men unconsciously feel like terrified little boys who crave love . . . And are afraid they may lose it.

To protect themselves from experiencing all these unwanted feelings, they developed defense mechanisms that shut down their emotional sides. They unconsciously react to certain words, situations and events that remind them of their mothers. And they have no idea what’s going on.

Now, look at what happens when such a man meets a girl he’s attracted to.

To protect themselves from experiencing all these unwanted feelings, they developed defense mechanisms that shut down their emotional sides.

They unconsciously react to certain words, situations and events that remind them of their mothers. And they have no idea what’s going on.

Now, look at what happens when such a man meets a girl he’s attracted to.

Why Great Guys Turn Into “Jerks”?

When he meets her, he unconsciously feels she can give him the love he never received from his mother. So he immediately becomes more open. He talks about his feelings, emotions, he’s romantic and so on.

The girl sees him doing it - and she puts her best foot forward, giving him the love he craves so much.

Everything looks perfect up until the moment when the girl unintentionally does something that reminds him about his experiences with his mother. This ignites all the unconscious, unresolved pain and feelings - which then triggers his defense mechanism.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not the girl’s fault. 

It all happens unconsciously, in the background. We don’t even know what’s going on. That’s why instead of communicating consciously, we react like robots, without even thinking about it.

As more months pass, more and more such situations happen, which lead him to completely shut his feelings down and become a cold and distant jerk.

From my experience, lots of men are like that. I’d say 99% of them, even.

They’re hurt and terrified and they crave love without even being aware of it.

When he meets her, he unconsciously feels she can give him the love he never received from his mother.

So he immediately becomes more open. He talks about his feelings, emotions, he’s romantic and so on.

The girl sees him doing it - and she puts her best foot forward, giving him the love he craves so much.

Everything looks perfect up until the moment when the girl unintentionally does something that reminds him about his experiences with his mother.

This ignites all the unconscious, unresolved pain and feelings - which then triggers his defense mechanism.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not the girl’s fault. 

It all happens unconsciously, in the background. We don’t even know what’s going on.

That’s why instead of communicating consciously, we react like robots, without even thinking about it.

As more months pass, more and more such situations happen, which lead him to completely shut his feelings down and become a cold and distant jerk.

From my experience, lots of men are like that. I’d say 99% of them, even.

They’re hurt and terrified and they crave love without even being aware of it.

Is it REALLY Hard to Find a Good Man?

So yeah, it might seem to you that there aren’t any good men left . . . And you may be asking yourself why it is so hard to find a good guy.

But you must know that it’s not true. It’s not hard to find a good man once you’re aware of what I just said. Not at all. And here’s why:

These guys who seem like jerks . . . most of them aren’t “bad.” They’re just deeply, unconsciously hurt, and they desperately seek love. But they’re terrified to ask for it, because they’re UNCONSCIOUSLY scared they might lose it. 

Now, hear me out:  

So yeah, it might seem to you that there aren’t any good men left . . . And you may be asking yourself why it is so hard to find a good guy.

But you must know that it’s not true. It’s not hard to find a good man once you’re aware of what I just said. Not at all. And here’s why:

These guys who seem like jerks . . . most of them aren’t “bad.” They’re just deeply, unconsciously hurt, and they desperately seek love.

But they’re terrified to ask for it, because they’re UNCONSCIOUSLY scared they might lose it. 

Now, hear me out:  

YOU and only YOU have the power to turn these terrified boys into confident, caring, strong, independent, warm and romantic men!

care man

Most guys aren’t “bad.” They can show their emotional side to you when you start consciously sharing love with them.

In fact, you can do it by just becoming aware of it (which you are right now) . . . And then just consciously sharing love with him.

And trust me - the minute you start doing it, the guy you’re with will literally transform right in front of you.

His jaw will drop, he’ll instantly relax and his emotions will start rising. He might even start crying like the little boy sitting inside him that desperately craves love!

He’ll become that amazing person you saw on your first dates and in the first months of your relationship. He’ll start craving YOU . . . and the thought of being with another woman will disappear from his thoughts.

He’ll become focused on you, dedicated to you, he’ll start listening to you again and reflect all the love you’re giving him!

Trust me, your relationship can really look like that - even if right now that’s the last thing you believe. I’ve seen it first hand with thousands of men and women.

In fact, you can do it by just becoming aware of it (which you are right now) . . . And then just consciously sharing love with him.

And trust me - the minute you start doing it, the guy you’re with will literally transform right in front of you.

His jaw will drop, he’ll instantly relax and his emotions will start rising.

He might even start crying like the little boy sitting inside him that desperately craves love!

He’ll become that amazing person you saw on your first dates and in the first months of your relationship.

He’ll start craving YOU . . . and the thought of being with another woman will disappear from his thoughts.

He’ll become focused on you, dedicated to you, he’ll start listening to you again and reflect all the love you’re giving him!

Trust me, your relationship can really look like that - even if right now that’s the last thing you believe.

I’ve seen it first hand with thousands of men and women.

Knowing This Changes EVERYTHING

In fact, one lady, Lisa Cloud was convinced that her marriage was over. Her husband was cold and distant. He didn’t show her love. He didn’t appear to even care.

But she became aware that her husband was acting like that because, deep down, he was a little hurt boy, desperately craving love. 

So she worked on her own feelings. She worked on the way she expresses them. She worked on how she shares love.

In just a week, her husband had miraculously changed. And he had no idea Lisa was doing this work.

That’s how powerful this secret is. And now that you know it, you can start consciously watching your words and actions. You can start sharing love with your man consciously. And you have a much better understanding of what’s going on inside his head. 

That the reason he’s cold and distant isn’t that he’s a bad guy. It’s because he’s terrified he’d never experience the love he craves so badly.

When you know all of that, finding a good man isn’t really that hard anymore, is it?

In fact, one lady, Lisa Cloud was convinced that her marriage was over.

Her husband was cold and distant. He didn’t show her love. He didn’t appear to even care.

But she became aware that her husband was acting like that because, deep down, he was a little hurt boy, desperately craving love. 

So she worked on her own feelings. She worked on the way she expresses them. She worked on how she shares love.

In just a week, her husband had miraculously changed. And he had no idea Lisa was doing this work.

That’s how powerful this secret is. And now that you know it, you can start consciously watching your words and actions.

You can start sharing love with your man consciously. And you have a much better understanding of what’s going on inside his head. 

That the reason he’s cold and distant isn’t that he’s a bad guy. It’s because he’s terrified he’d never experience the love he craves so badly.

When you know all of that, finding a good man isn’t really that hard anymore, is it?

This article began as an email I’ve sent to people on my list. Each week, I send two valuable emails jam-packed with practical insights that can help you change your life.

To get these insights, all you have to do is get on my list. It’s 100% free and I won’t be sharing your email with anyone.

This article began as an email I’ve sent to people on my list.

Each week, I send two valuable emails jam-packed with practical insights that can help you change your life.

To get these insights, all you have to do is get on my list.

It’s 100% free and I won’t be sharing your email with anyone.

Fill out the sign-up form below to start receiving these life-changing emails right away:

Brian D. Ridgway

About the Author

Brian D. Ridgway "The Spellbreaker". A #1 Bestselling Spiritual Author, a Mentor and a Guide.

His unique guidance has helped over 160,361 people from 84 countries - including tens of thousands of women struggling with their relationships

Related articles: