Cold and Distant Husband? Here’s How to Get His Old Self Back

May 10, 2021
By Brian D. Ridgway

At first, he’s sending you 20 passionate texts each day. He’s the first one to start a conversation. He takes you places, buys flowers, touches your hair and says how beautiful you are.

happy couple

He’s always so amazing at the beginning.

You can see the spark in his eyes when he whispers “I love you.” You’re more and more convinced that you made the right choice - and that you live in a healthy marriage. But after a few months, maybe a year or two, suddenly, he becomes emotionally distant. 

Loving Guy Turns Into a Cold and Distant Husband

Why is it that suddenly you’re the one initiating conversations? Why do you rarely hear him say “I love you” without a reason? And why do you feel like you became invisible in your relationship or marriage?

Conversations with thousands of clients have revealed to me that  most women ask themselves these questions at some point in their lives. And perhaps many of them have experienced it more than once. Why is it that those beautiful moments don’t continue? Is there a way to save your marriage?

The short answer is “YES”. You can recreate - and expand - the emotional connection between you and your husband. 

bored couple

You can make your husband love you again. And it’s easier than you probably think.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. First, let’s have a look at what happens when you meet a man that you feel drawn to. This will show you why he later becomes cold and distant.

It Begins When You Meet Him The First Time

When you meet that guy the first time, something makes you attracted to him, and you want him to feel the same. So what do you do? If you’re like most people, you put your “best foot forward”. And he does that, too.

All the emotions, hormones and feelings give you the temporary power to hide your “dark side” and appear as if you are an entirely different person. And the man does the same.

To put it straight - both of you pretend to be someone else. (The one you think the other will like, accept and desire.)

So yes, you’re putting your best foot forward. And in the background something happens that you’re not aware of. Something that impacts ALL your relationships.

Hidden Mechanism That Turns Off His Emotions

All your unconscious beliefs, emotions and stories about relationships become activated. They begin spreading around your husband like invisible claws. And after a few weeks, they slowly sink into his back. Grabbing and clutching.

And he does the same to you.

These “claws” can be your unconscious reactions, some words you say or questions you ask. It may even be the way you look at your husband, comment on his behavior and many other things. And it’s not your fault that it happens — as I’ll explain in a moment.

Your husband, also unconsciously, perceives these as a threat to his feeling of worthiness. To his need to be accepted, and to his safety. More important, he unconsciously percieves these things as confirmation of his own inner sense that he will never be fully loved and appreciated.

So what does he do?

Most men are programmed to shut down their feelings, keep quiet and become cold and distant. In fact, some men may even use verbal abuse. This is their “safety mechanism” they inherited after their dads. 

You may think he has become a “jerk”, but, in fact, the wounded boy in him is desperately trying to stay safe.

sad man

Inside your husband, there’s a little boy who was once hurt. He’s not aware of it and in most cases, he’s not in control of his feelings and reactions.

To put it bluntly - we all act like robots. We unintentionally do something that harms our partner. And they respond automatically, without thinking. 

So why does it happen and how you can avoid it? Let’s see!

It’s NOT Your Fault That Your Husband Turned Cold and Distant

As I mentioned before - it’s not your fault that this happens. In fact, your husband has the same unconscious reactions that “attack” your feeling of safety and worthiness. And it’s not his fault either.

We all inherited and absorbed these reactions when we were kids. At that time, our brains soaked information like sponges. And they shaped our personalities.

For example, when we desperately wanted to get a new toy but our parents yelled at us for daring to ask. This is when we came to an unconscious conclusion that we can’t get what we want, and that we should somehow “know better” than to even ask. 

Then we went to school where other kids laughed at us for reasons we couldn’t comprehend. And we figured we’re somehow “faulty” and unworthy.

We’ve experienced thousands of such events and all of them piled up in our subconscious - creating what I call Spells.

The Real Cause of Your Relationship Issues

Spells have nothing to do with magic. This word describes a hidden subconscious mechanism. It controls your emotions, reactions and feelings. 

Take the DNA code. It determines your height, the color of your hair and eyes and so much more. 

In a similar way, your reactions, thoughts and emotions are determined by your Spells. Your Spells dictate your experience in relation to money, health, relationships . . . And all the other areas.


Your Spells work like your emotional DNA — they control your reactions, thoughts and emotions — without your knowledge!

Whenever some event triggers your Spells - they make you unconsciously react to it. Always in the same way, always causing the same outcome - over and over again.

For example:

  • When someone compliments your great work, your Spells may push you to answer that you “just got lucky.”
  • Or when you receive more money, they may push you to find ways to spend it all. They may also cause you to feel like a fraud.
  • When you find a person that truly loves you, your Spells can turn you into a cold and distant person. Because deep down you feel that you don’t deserve love.
  • Or quite the opposite, they can make you feel fanatical about that person - because you’re scared of losing them.

These are just general examples to show you how it works. We are all different. We all have different Spells. And we all react differently.

But there’s one thing that’s common for all of us . . .

We all can dissolve our Spells. We can take control of our reactions, thoughts and emotions. And we can finally experience a huge and lasting change in our lives.

The Key to Having a Happy Marriage

Dissolving your Spells is the key to waking up the emotional side of your husband again. It’s the key to saving your marriage. It’s the key to YOUR happiness. 

Because as soon as you dissolve your Spells, you stop hurting your husband . . . and in response, he automatically stops hurting you. 

What’s more, when he realizes “the danger” is gone - he’ll start looking at you differently. The barrier he built will be gone. He won’t be cold and distant anymore. And being with him will open the door for those original “beautiful feelings” to come back - which will make you feel good again!

The “jerkiness” will be gone. His feelings for you will instantly return - often stronger than ever.

Dissolving your Spells is like a silent treatment of your marriage. Because often, you don’t even need to talk to your husband about it. Yet, the change he’ll see in you will be so strong, he’ll automatically change, too.

man care

Once you dissolve your Spells, you husband will see the change in you. And he will reflect this change in his behavior.

This is exactly what happened to Lisa Cloud. After years in her miserable marriage, she broke up with her husband and started working on dissolving her Spells. About a week later, her husband came back as a new man! 

Other ladies did it in under 2 weeks and experienced the biggest relationship breakthrough of their lives. What’s great — the change is long term — and it lasts.

Like Debbie - who manifested a wonderful guy in just 12 days . . . 

Or Lisa - whose husband miraculously changed . . .

Or Christie - who healed broken relationships with her 2 daughters.

That’s how powerful dissolving Spells is. And while describing this whole process would take a lot of space here, I’ll give you a shortcut.

Whenever you feel unwanted feelings in relation to your husband, take a few deep breaths. Inhale through your nose. Exhale through your mouth. Do this “abdominally” - let your belly move when you breathe, and not your chest or shoulders.

When you breathe, feel your feelings and become curious about what really caused them. Don’t try to suppress them, don’t try to hide them. Just breathe deeply and experience your feelings. Don’t let it control you - just relax and observe.

When you do this, first, you’re giving yourself a chance to release this feeling. Once you do this, you may find yourself experiencing less and less of this feeling in the future.

Second, as you experience it, it may bring back an event that caused similar feelings in you in your childhood. If this happens, talk to your inner child with love. 

Make sure that the kid within you feels safe and that this event from the past cannot harm you. Do all of that while breathing deeply.

Congratulations - you just took the first step toward dissolving your Spells that kept you unhappy in your relationship for so many years!

How to Change Your Relationship - Even in 12 Days

I dedicated an entire book to the topic of Spells. In it, I show you the key ideas that you have to understand in order to let go of your Spells for good . . . and a simple, 5-minute process that helps you manifest the relationship that you want.

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How to Manifest Love Fast? Debbie Did That in Just 12 Days!